offside-goal:

stablefree:

offside-goal:

"Innocent animals"

Are there guilty animals

I wonder if birds sell cocaine

Some are quack dealers

I need a moment that was the most perfect pun I’ve ever seen I love you

11,786 notes

deaneggsandsam:

when u sneeze in front of your pet and they look like you’ve just offended their great ancestors

image

105,142 notes

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

224,547 notes

tastefullyoffensive:

Artist Chris McMahon buys other people’s landscape paintings at thrift stores and puts monsters in them.

Previously: Artist Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings

41,728 notes

locksandglasses:

reeves3:

didgeridooyouloveme:

caseyanthonyofficial:

That gazebo is so fucked

Are you sure gazebo is the correct word?
Are
you 
sure?



I cried

locksandglasses:

reeves3:

didgeridooyouloveme:

caseyanthonyofficial:

That gazebo is so fucked

Are you sure gazebo is the correct word?

Are

you 

sure?

I cried

(Source: 4gifs)

400,422 notes

make me choose » plainlydominant asked: Victory of the Daleks or Vincent and the Doctor

(Source: doctorwhogifs)

4,833 notes

fiyhi:

patron-de-los-santos:

mcdamnright:

So I was at a thrift store and I see this little cat lamp.

image

I was like “Aye yo, ya’ll are fuckin’ adorable.”
So I bought the lil’ guy and took him home to plug him in.

image

Then I was like “No.”

well no wonder why it was in the thrift store

but shit it was 99 cents

375,121 notes

mama-hanji:

punkbread:

i wish i was friends with someone in my neighborhood so i could randomly call them up and be like ‘yo i know its 3am but do you wanna walk around aimlessly for a little while’

Do you think this is a god damn movie? My best friend lives 20 feet from me and I haven’t seen her in 3 weeks.

you’re talking about college dorm life

388,329 notes